What do you need to include on your RSVP card?
Your wedding can’t go ahead without your guests, so after the invitation itself, the RSVP or reply card is the most important part of your wedding invitation suite. Without it, your guests cannot let you know if they can come, and you’ll be left scratching your head over guest numbers, dietary requirements and meal choices.
Traditionally, your guests will fill out your RSVP card by hand and then post it back to you – we recommend including a stamped, addressed envelope here to make this step as simple as possible. If you haven’t opted for postal RSVP cards, you’ll need to make sure you include your email address, phone number, or a link to your wedding website if you have one.
I’m going to break down everything you need include on your RSVP cards, when they need to go out by, and what the reply deadline should be. I’ll also cover some alternative ways to gather this information if you’re not planning on sending out postal RSVP cards.
What Goes on a Wedding RSVP Card?
RSVP stands for “répondez, s’il vous plaît”. This is a French phrase which means “please reply”, and has become a familiar part of modern English, especially in the weddings and events industry. If an invitation requests that you “RSVP”, it means you must indicate whether or not you’re attending.
It is unusual for weddings to be an open indication – venues usually have a maximum capacity, and for all but the most informal of affairs, your caterer will need to know an exact head count ahead of your wedding day.
Therefore, it’s super-important to include an RSVP card with your invitation. You’ll also need to make clear on the invitation who is invited (more on that in this blog post), so your guests know whether they have a plus one, or whether they need to organise childcare.
Here’s everything you need to include on your RSVP cards:
RSVP Deadline
This is the date that you need every RSVP card to be returned to you by, and is often dictated by the deadline that the caterer needs a final headcount by.
Here are a few ways to word the deadline:
Your reply is requested by 31st March
Kindly RSVP by Friday 31st March
Please reply on or before 31st March
It is recommended to pick a date at least a few weeks before you really need the final head count for your venue and caterer. I recommend adding 4-6 weeks extra time to this if you have a reserve guestlist, and it gives you plenty of time to chase up any guests who have forgotten to reply.
Blank Line for Guests’ Names
You’ll also need to leave a blank line for your guest(s) to write their name, along with the name of their plus one (if you’re offering one). The line for the guest’s name on an RSVP card often has an ‘M’ at the start – this is very traditional, and is supposed to act as the first letter of ‘Mr’, ‘Mrs’ or ‘Miss’, though it’s optional and many couples choose to forfeit the ‘M’ these days.
You’ll also be surprised at how many guests forget to write their names on the RSVP card! There’s a couple of ways you can handle this:
Before sending out your invitation suites, write a unique number on the back of each RSVP card that correlate with your guest(s) name(s) on your wedding spreadsheet.
Alternatively, you could write your guest(s) name(s) o nthe on the back of each RSVP card in invisible ink that you can read under a black light.
That way, if you do receive an unnamed RSVP card, you’ll easily be able to figure out who sent it.
“Accept” and “Decline” Check Boxes
Each guest will need to be able to indicate whether or not they can make it. Usually, this comes in the form of a check-box next to each option. There are many ways to word it. More formal and traditional wordings include:
Joyfully accepts / Regretfully declines
Accepts with delight / Declines with apologies
Will attend / Will not attend
If you’d prefer a more casual approach, you could choose something more along the lines of these:
Yes, I’ll be there / Sorry, I’ll be there in spirit
Can’t wait to celebrate / Sad to miss it
Would love to come / Would love to come, but can’t
Looking forward to the free drinks / Can’t make it, but have a drink on me
Generally, the more guests you invite, the higher the chance that some people won’t be able to make it. As a rule of thumb, you can expect approximately 10-20% of your invitees to decline. That’s why many couples choose to invite a few more than their ideal number of guests, and order a few spare invitations if they have opted for an A and a B list.
Number of Guests Attending
It is can be useful to include a way for your guests to include a way to indicate how many people will be attending, and it really helps with your organisation too! You could use something like “__ guests attending out of __”. You can fill in the second box yourself, according to how many people you’ve invited.
This is especially important if you’ve invited multiple people with one invitation (e.g. families and couples) as you’ll need to know how many can (and can’t) make it, and any guests that will be bringing plus ones.
Meal Choices
If you are giving your guests a choice of food options, you will need to include these on the RSVP card. Next to each choice, include a blank line or an empty box, and request that your your guests selection which option they’d prefer. For example:
__ mushroom risotto
__ seafood lasagne
__ beef rossini
If the invitation is going out to a single guest, he or she can simply tick the appropriate box. If it’s a multi-person invitation, you may wish to include two checkboxes or lines that they guests can include their initials next to their choice.
Dietary Requirements
You will find that around 5-10% of your guests will have a food allergy or intolerance, so even if there’s just one option, your caterer will need to know if any of your guests have a dietary requirement.
As there are so many different nutritional needs (vegan, coeliac, halal, dairy & nut allergies, etc) it is it’s not practical to offer multiple-choice tick boxes here. Instead, include a blank line for your guests to fill in themselves. If your caterer needs more information, you can call the guest to discuss it further.
Space for Song Request
A fun & effective way to get your guests to fill in your RSVP is to include space for a song request. It will also get them excited for the reception, as they will almost certainly be listening out for their request! If this appeals to you, make sure you include the words “I promise to dance if you play the following” and include a blank line for your guests to write their music choice.
Stamped Addressed Envelopes
If you’ve chosen postal RSVP cards, do make sure that you include a stamped, addressed envelope with all of your RSVP cards. This is important for two reasons:
It’s a little rude to make your guests pay to send their RSVP cards back.
It makes it much easier (and quicker!) for your guests to return their card. All they’ll have to do is pop the card into the envelope and the envelope into a post box.
There are always some people who fail to return their RSVP cards. So, I always recommend you make the process as simple and straightforward as possible for them. The last thing you’ll want to be doing in the run-up to your wedding is chasing up those guests who haven’t replied.
When Do You Send Out RSVP Cards?
You should out your RSVP cards with your wedding invitations, as part of your wedding invitation suite. This should be approximately eight to twelve weeks before the wedding, if you sent out save the dates. If you didn’t send out save the dates, You should send out your invitations and RSVP cards a little earlier – approximately 4 to 6 months prior to your wedding day. If you’re having a destination wedding, the earlier the better – a 8-12 months is the norm here.
Chat with your venue and caterer to find out the latest by which they’ll need a final head count. This is usually somewhere between two days and two weeks before the wedding. And always give your guests plenty of time to reply: as I mentioned before, I recommend adding 4-6 weeks between the response deadline and the actual cut-off date.
One week after the RSVP deadline has passed, get in touch to any of your guests who haven’t replied. Never assume that anyone who doesn’t reply isn’t coming: their cards could have got lost in the post, or they may have simply forgotten to send them.
Alternatives to RSVP Cards
RSVP cards are the traditional way to collect your guests’ replies. However, there are a couple of downsides:
Particularly if you’re having a big wedding, they are an expense that can rapidly add up as you’ll need to buy a stamp for each RSVP envelope or postcard. Additionally, some guests may not bother to post a reply, either due to laziness or busyness.
Here are some alternative ways that you can collect your guests’ responses:
Have a wedding website with a reply form to easily collate RSVP details (this is also great if you’re offering guests a full suite of menu choices!) – be sure to include the web address on the RSVP card or main invitation
Include your email address and/or phone number, plus any specific instructions (meal requests, dietary requirements)
It makes sense to offer your guests more than one way to RSVP – that way you can ensure that as many people as possible with reply on time: busy guests will hop on a website or pop a text message, while the older or less tech savvy may prefer to put something in the post.
The only downside to offering multiple ways to RSVP is that it can be more challenging for you to collate this information – so I’d recommend only offering two options!